Ripped & Tear #5A – Killin’ Cacos & Countin’ Cals

  • Nov 27, 2019
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  • By: Parker Wilhelm
Ripped & Tear #5A – Killin’ Cacos & Countin’ Cals

Super Shotguns and chainsaws are all well and good, but few demon killin’ instruments are as fine-tuned and effective as the DOOM Slayer himself. While we (thankfully) have no need to rip apart demons by hand, we can still break down the science of the Slayer’s impressive physique and see what we can apply to our own. This is Ripped & Tear!

Ah, the calorie. A nutritional term thrown around on wellness blogs and monochrome soft drink cans, but what does a calorie do, exactly? This edition of Ripped & Tear shakes up our usual muscle group analysis to investigate the thing that literally fuels the DOOM Slayer (besides his unbridled hatred of demons).

A calorie is a unit of energy, specifically the amount of heat required to raise the temperature of a gram of water by one degree Celsius. Most food packaging measures calories in kcal (or Calories with a capital ‘C’ in the United States) - the amount of energy required to heat a kilogram of water by a degree.

The energy given off when the human body burns calories is what keeps us moving, broadly speaking. The more a body moves, the more calories it needs.

And boy, does the Slayer move.

Burn, baby, burn

It’s not just that the Slayer is a run-don’t-walk type. He ceaselessly sprints at full speed for miles, all the while jumping, ducking, vaulting, climbing, ripping and tearing without hesitation with a full contingent or armor, weapons and muscle strapped on his body. The Slayer burns a LOT of calories

How much food does it take to support the DOOM Slayer’s energy demands? For reference, take Brian Shaw, four-time winner of the World’s Strongest Man competition. To support his demanding training (and massive musculature), Shaw sometimes eats over 12,000 kcal in a single day. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps was also famously known for a similar demand of Calories while training for the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing.

Now, we must stress: that kind of calorie count is roughly four to six times the daily amount of calories recommended by most government health organizations. Unless you’re a fellow strongman or training Olympian, we seriously advise against it. (No, really, you could suffer serious internal harm. Or die.)

From there, it’s safe to say that the average human likely can’t handle whatever the DOOM Slayer’s caloric needs may be - that kilogram of water would instantly evaporate into steam. However, that doesn’t mean we can’t do with a little smart eating - tune in next time as we find (properly portioned) food choices to go with your Ripped & Tear regimen!

DISCLAIMER: Always consult your physician before making changes to your diet or beginning any physical fitness regimen and/or rigorous activity. Stop immediately if you feel faint, dizzy, pain or shortness of breath while exercising. This series is intended for entertainment purposes and does not replace the advice of healthcare professionals. ZeniMax Media and its partners are not responsible for any injuries that may occur from attempting exercises shown on this website.